Porcelain Bank

Everytime I go to make a deposit at the porcelain bank I think of the following humorous things to say;

• Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
• Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."
  
• Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit!! My glass eye!!"
  
• Say, "Damn, this water is cold."
  
• Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place. Sigh relaxingly.
  
• Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
  
• Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!!"
  
• Say," Interesting....more sinkers than floaters"
  
• Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
  
• Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot!"
  
• Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

When I get my deposit slip it's always blank.